Why is every holiday surrounded by the assumption that we must get together with friends, and family to GORGE on food?  Somehow if we don't do this there will be strange looks.  People will ask if you are feeling okay, or if there is something wrong with you.  If you take to much food then you get those looks as well, but they are different.  Shouldn't that girl be on a diet?  Wow that is a lot of food on your plate.  ARG!!!  Why do I have to be around others on these days!!!  I guess I am trying to say, not only did I blow my points out of the water, I also loathed being scrutinized by all the other people who don't have this secret (or not so secret) addiction to food.  Next time I am going to be sick, and avoid the downward spiral depression and self hatred.  Humm, what day is Memorial Day?  I think I feel the flu or a spring cold coming on.  I think my food issues are all because of my mother.  At least that is what Freud would say.  If it is not I think I should blame her anyway.  She makes me feel the most fucked up about it.